On our walk home, she tells me about her chapped lips and that the best lip balm is “the one Santa gave me…I mean you gave me”. I wasn’t there yesterday when the big question was asked and the truth revealed, but today I met our daughter at the school bus, so that we could spend the afternoon together. For you and your children, slow down and take time to be with both your and their experiences. As parents it is these moments of modeling, combined with the times of being with our children as they try to navigate their own struggles, that will largely define our children’s capacity to tolerate change.
In these instances, professionals experienced in working with children can help.įinally take a moment and think about how you navigate change and what you do to address your fears and anxieties during transitions. Sometimes as parents our child’s pain is more than we can bear, at others we may feel some guidance may be necessary. It takes time to offer someone who is fearful or in pain the space to slow down, feel safe and experience. When change is occurring for a child and you recognize how scary and unfamiliar it is for them, how it is hard it is to say goodbye to what they have known, that there will be times that they will wish they could go back to the past, and that through all of it, you will be there for them – is one of the best gifts we can give our children. Fear of will I be enough to cope? Who will I become? Will be alone in this new world? Will someone be there to help me when I struggle in this new place? These fears, often exhibited as anxiety, are as true for a child as they are for an adult. It is a time of moving from the known to the unknown. Taking the time to slow things down and acknowledge for both ourselves and our children that transition is occurring is critical to everyone’s wellbeing.įor everyone change is hard. For the children and the parents alike, there are places to be, classes to attend, meetings to be had.
We live in a first world country, where everyone is busy. Combined with tears of confusion as it dawned another enormous step toward leaving her childhood behind. In his recounting of the story, I learn there were tears from her around the relief in finally knowing the truth, especially as she was being teased at school for still “believing”.
But this time, my husband confessed he couldn’t turn away from her direct and insistent gaze. Three kids on, between us we’ve been asked this question many times and dodged it, in so many ways. Long after the children had gone to bed, I came home last night to learn that our youngest had asked the question “Dad…is the Tooth Fairy real?”
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